I napped too, mind you; I just felt guilty about it. An emotion to which my husband is, at least in matters of household chores, immune. (He does things around the house, but his chores are unadulterated by guilt.)
I used to marvel at his capacity for what I perceived to be his self-indulgence. No matter how much I did in a day, the unfinished portion of my to-do list seemed to loom much larger than the sum of my accomplishments. How wrong I was.
I have noticed that women in general seem to have a talent for self-recrimination. We are so ready to take the blame for whatever is going forward. Why? Why are we so hard on ourselves, hard on each other?
When will we learn? It's not our job to be perfect. It's our job to do our best with what we've got -- sometimes not even that.
It's our job to love. We run ourselves ragged loving everyone else. But we are created in God's image too -- it's our job to love ourselves just the same.
I used to carry around so many worries, regrets, fears...it was like carrying around a sack of rocks. I thought, what if I just drop this sack? Stop worrying about everyone's expectations? Lower my own expectations to those of an ordinary mortal?
What I learned is that I could take every day just as it is. I learned I could look at each person and see the good in him or her. I learned that I could see the good in myself.
Does this seem obvious? It didn't to me. Why are we women so reluctant to see the beauty in ourselves?
Here is one of the many things I have learned from my husband: when I have a spare half hour, I deserve a nap. I am worthy.